It is fun in retrospect don't you think? ~4½ years ago in
this post I had ended it all. Resigned from my final ranks and left the Server behind for a rather long period of time. The funny thing about is, is that was after 4½ years of working for and with ZARP to make it the best place I could.
SO! For those who do not know me yet, I am Kemi, a (somewhat skilled) progammer currently dropped out of school due to personal issues. I am looking to start school again and now I have found myself once again attracted to the community in which I racked up thousands of unhealthy hours in gmod.
To those who do know me, possibly under a different name (my name used to be
Anna) I was a
Head Administrator for SSRP, a
Global Moderator, a
Teamspeak Head Administrator and a
Super Administrator for Prop Hunt, I was even an aspiring
Developer for Murder but I ultimately provided little to no actual support. (Though for any server in need, I may be able to help,
hmu.)
If you do not fall into the above category of already knowing me, or having known me in the past, you either likely know me as
the person who writes essays for fun and I do mean many essays:
like this one,
or this one, or simply as Kemi. As I have been on the server occasionally.
I plan to look at ZARP as a potential time investment in the future: returning to staffing duties, helping by improving the policies and keeping the push on for it, having interviews (hopefully) with some of the CM team as they had so graciously offered in the past, finally, possibly helping out servers wherever I can. I had given up after having been told that people did not respect my opinions and thought I didn't know what I was talking about but recently I feel that may have changed.
Now, I do have more things to go into before I close this off and I will do below. For most this is where the post will end, I hope to see you all around in the game, on the forums or on TeamSpeak! For those who continue onwards, please be advised that this post will contain many of my opinions (some speculation) and points about who I was, who I am now, what my goals are, and why I may be coming back.
Who Am I?
Perhaps the most potent question of them all is, who the frick am I? Well like I said I used to go by the name
Anna I climbed the ladder pretending I was someone I was not. I have slipped ever deeper down that slippery slope to a point where I couldn't reveal who I truly was without everything crashing down around me. Now, for those who had guessed it to be the case (as people often do with this kind of thing) yes, I am not a girl, nor will I ever be. Though admittedly it was during a period of me being unsure about who I truly was.
Since I scatteringly rejoined ZARP on occasion I rejoined as myself, as those you might come to know as Kemi. Speaking with my own voice, and acting as according to my own opinion. I have even had the honour of playing with some lovely folks here from ZARP itself outside of ZARP, such as
TrueOverL,
Hoodroid, and
Mr Richards (all lovely lads, even if you don't know I did). Admittedly, pretending someone you're not (even if people suspected it) is a shitty thing to do and I'm sorry for anyone who was truly deceived, but nonetheless, I will assure you that all my actions and intentions have been purely to benefit the community and not myself.
Now I do have to mention one more thing prior to leaving this off, somewhere in my days I made a post coming out as having multiple personalities. This is in fact, still true. I'm mentally split between Kemi (myself) and Léon (my alternate personality). We work together on everything daily and have been happily doing for years, and we will keep doing so in all ways going forward.
What Happened?
Down this trip on memory lane I'll go into detail on what happened to me. So, as one might remember I was once a Head Administrator for SSRP and wielded many other ranks as described above. Part of me wanted to see how far I could go without ever once speaking a word, as most would require their members to have a microphone to come anywhere truly high up. I have been the ranks I have claimed above and I was in the running (and was at the time informed I had a fairly close shot) at becoming a
Community Manager had I started to speak then, but I refused and did not get the promotion, instead other members who didn't have such a liking for me became the CMs that year.
It took a long time for me to be promoted from Admin to Super Administrator, I remember clearly as day sitting in the Teamspeak channel activity monitoring the last activity in the LTM waiting for the eventual outcome with my buddy Clarky. When we were dragged in and informed that we were promoted to Super Administrators we were both overjoyed and jumped to tackle our new duties with smiles on our faces I'm sure. Fast forward 6 months and I would once again have my golden shield taken and replaced by the diamond shield, as I became a Head Administrator to certain people's dismay.
Now, sadly we must fast forward another 5 months, and my dad would find himself falling ill and needing to go to the hospital. School wasn't doing so great and life was overall just overwhelming with a breakup between my parents, and many other things at play. I found it hard to play on the server but still did whatever I could do: handling reports, dealing with anything that came up in the meeting, and the like, but as soon as the chance showed itself to kick me out of the team in a moment of vulnerability certain agents took it and ere long I was a head admin no more, my global moderator was stripped, and my Teamspeak powers were as well in one of the worst weekends of my life, on top of dealing with all the stuff mentioned before leading me eventually to making
this post.
Moving forward I would occasionally post on the forums, have some fun and as one thing lead to another (a boring internship came about) I started to try and help the server out by suggesting certain policy changes and doing other things in an attempt to make things fairer and more balanced overall for everyone, fighting for rights that I still believe staff should have. But any attempt to maintain posts active was squashed. As one such person who I believed to be my friend had been commenting behind my back about despising my posts, claiming I had no idea what I was talking about. All the while I attempted to be open and accept any criticism wanting to genuinely help and improve things as they were. Ultimately I left ZARP behind for another 2 years... leading me to today.
What Now?
Well... I have free time now! Lots of it, in fact. I think that with
Recent Developments I have a reinvigorated wish to help the community out. Whether it be by being a staff member on its servers, or by pushing for new policies that will make life for staff members overall more manageable and fair. I do also have to give a huge shout-out to
Luigi for convincing me to give it another shot!
I have ranted long enough. I'll see you in-game.
Hope you do stick around, we got a lot going on behind the scenes with the influx of returning players
DarkRP 1 
Discord