TOPIC: The Pursuit of Purpose (CYOA + Prizes)

I exist within the realm of thought you hold at a distance.
In your darkest dreams, I lurk and guide you from that which would harm you.
I am beyond all reasoning, all cognition, all mortal purpose.

My name is...

[CHOOSE A NAME FOR YOUR GUARDIAN]

((Welcome one and all to my newest choose your own adventure, or CYOA. This one will be decidedly longer than the last one. Your job is to choose how this'll play out. Every choice made means one lucky person gets a prize. This can be small stuff like nerve gas, all the way up to printers and even rarer items. Pick a name by posting suggestions below, and the one that gets the most thank yous will be your "guardian" through this journey.
Good luck, my friends. The name that gets chosen will mean the person who suggested it wins a gamma rifle BP!
No rules on this one aside from nothing blatantly offensive. No racist or sexist names. You can troll however you so desire with this one, but just remember, the name won't change once chosen.))

EDIT: May have gotten overexcited and jumped the gun a bit, so this might be in the wrong section. If a forum mod could move it for me, that'd be great. Haha.

Watsano

Joeburglar

Need more names/votes, dudes!

Keep it going, my dudes.

Stalin.