TOPIC: IDK what is going to happen

Some people know a few things about me, some know, i've got a few issues.

Well about a month ago, due to them issues, i ended up punching a wall, for the second time, as hard as i could, unfortunatly i heard the sound of my bone crunching, and now have 2 screwed knucles, one pushed down and over, and the other slightly crushed on the top.

Well my knucles having been playing up a lot the past few weeks, with a lot of pain, stopping me from doign so many things, such as simply holding a mouse, or typing. bearing in mind, my life resolves around using my hands, weather that is on the PC working towards my career path, or simply playing the piano, becomes a frustrating task, when i am in pain, and not able to move them fingers.

next week (17th on wards), i will be going to the doctors to get it looked at for them to decide what to do, which means X-rays again, and well the main option will be to have them two knuckles re broken.

Having them rebroken will most likely put it in some sort of cast to make sure the main knuckle does not push back out of place, or it will be strapped up to other fingers.
Now this becomes an issue, with hindering my college work, playing the piano, or just simply using my pc.

Ohh yeh, the pinky finger is the worst one, to the point it sits naturally curved, and pushed back .

The frustration unfortunately, came out on people that it shouldn't have. the people know who they are, because i had spoken with them to clear things up. this is one of the reasons i needed a break, was so i can get it sorted, get rid of the frustration, and come back better.


Thanks tyler for the talk tonight,
And thanks to tyler and para for recent weeks, with our talks.

On a final note, I'm very close to leaving SSRP for a long time, if not for good, Not due to hating the server, or anything, because i enjoy being on SSRP , and enjoy doing stuff on there, however there are issues arising in SSRP, that are actually putting me close to punching yet another wall.

DAMN! Anon this sounds very severe and your doing the right thing on getting in checked out. I hope it all goes well and that you can some how fix the pain you have been receiving in these past weeks. If you want to take a break, which is a good idea, then sure have some time of your shoulders (and knuckles) for some time as you are so hard working and do so much that you deserve a time of, not for the reason you are but still have time of to get your issues sorted and then come back! Best of luck in your choices and i will hopefully see you soon?

How Did you type all this then?




Jkjk. Thanks for letting us know man! Hope all goes well and see you back soon.

Get well soon ,

Love Onion.

Your personal health comes first and the majority of us understand that and we can forgive you for the way you've acted as it can be quite frustrating(I myself have been through something similar). Take all the time you need just come back in one piece.

Don't punch a wall next time?

If you need time off for anything in your personal life, on any issues such as this take the time off that you need. You should in no way at all feel obliged to put ZARP or your staffing duties before your own physical or mental health.

Anyways, I understand that it's frustrating and all to have something like this happen, but just keep going. You will go through both physical and mental pain, but if you keep on going and don't cave in to it, you can eventually get through it and move on with your life. Obviously I don't know what fuels your anger into making you punch a wall and end up with something this bad, and anger is something which can greatly control you, and something that the majority of people greatly struggle to control themselves. There are many methods you can try to use (besides punching things) to control anger, and what will work for you will differ to what works for others. I personally tend to use methods of just doing something (literally anything) productive with my time, such as helping people out (typically with staffing, which is actually one of the main reasons I try to go for a lot of staffing roles, because I have the time, and few other places that I use it, so why not use it to help people out) or just doing some general coding. You are a different person, and obviously your mind works differently and other methods will work for you, but those are just what I find helpful. Just remember, the methods are out there, even if it takes a lot of trial and error to find a way, you can and will find a way if you search for it.

If you ever need anything, or any help at all, remember that there are many people who will try to help you as best we can.

Hopefully you manage to get your knuckles sorted out soon!

Dude get anger management, I'd punch holes through all my doors just to realise that shit is fucked up.

Hope you get fixed up man, Hope to see you in good shape soon

Hope you get better soon man <3

Get well soon and hope you say sorry to ur knuckles for smacking them agaisnt the wall and rupturing their anus's.

Be better soon mate

Thanks for the comments guys.

@Onion
Trust me it took me a while, and faking hurt lol, just like music this morning hurt AF

@Xnator
I always have music playing when away from my pc, or when i have nothing to keep my brain active/doing something.
I can control the anger within, i tend to use it in the gym, however there will always be a time where it will let loose randomly, plus if i was not able to control it slightly, i would make a new hole in a wall or door, every day, or even each hour LOL!.

@Kapijam
Talking to someone who i have no trust in, is something i do not do, meaning going to any form of therapy won't help me, plus i've had enough years with the issues at this point, with it originating from a younger experience, but i'm still growing up, and learning, then have stress of college(Not all the time) that can just tip it.

Plus why not punch walls, they don't complain, plus you then think to your self, "Fak that hurt" then surprisingly you timid down a heck of a lot lol

I don't know you or your situation but I'm just going to say that you should see a doctor as fast as possible to make sure the bones don't heal in a fucked up way, could prevent your fingers ever healing correctly.

Shark wrote:
I Punched the wall a month ago lol. so the bones would have healed in their current position to a certain extent. which is why it may need to be re broken, which would be SOOOO much fun lol.

my knuckles will be fine, i'm use to pain, and medical issues, just not a 24/7 pain the is intense af xD.

Doesn't help i am just like, Meh fak it, to injuries, and say meh, it'll be fine, and then few moths later i'm like well shi that healed wrong, just like my toe when i broken the joint lol,
Some advice, NEVER leave a bloody table at the bottom of your stairs, you end up breaking toes on them lol