TOPIC: Paramontana has abused me... PRANK!

To the man himself ParaMontana,
You were blonde and pretty and all the boys knew you. I didn't know you. Not until we were wearing the same Miss Selfridge Chinese-style dress at the Year 7 disco. Was that it? Is that what made you torment and humiliate me for the next decade?

Like the girls in Year 4, you set to work behind my back. Sometimes, literally. I'd turn around and there you were, mimicking me, pushing your hair to one side (a nervous habit of mine you'd picked up on). Or when I'd hear Mar-freaka, an impressive reimagining of my name down a corridor from your direction. If you'd been this creative in class, you might have passed a few more GCSEs #justsaying. Sometimes you'd be more sly. A nasty rumour would get back to me and you were always the source. Looking back, spreading rumours is perhaps just what some 14-year-old girls do. But you were still telling boys lies about me when we were 18 and in our local Wetherspoons. You just wouldn't let up.

Its just a prank....
Love you Para :DDD