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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359325

I have been going through a lot of horrible shit recently, I almost lost 2 of my friends and I'm currently struggling a lot with mental health issues. I disagree to be called out for a person who is showing 'Terrible Attitude' which isn't even part of my personality. I don't believe I'm something big or anything like that. I'm a person that always I am friendly and helpful. I want to apologize to everyone who has 'encountered' some kind of my horrible attitude. This isn't me.
I'm not going to use my terrible situation as a "excuse" to behave like an absolute douchebag. However, I don't like it how people have been behaving before I started showing my attitude.

I've almost lost 2 of my best friends 2 weeks ago due to a suicide attempt; People are easily saying 'GeT pRoFeSsIoNaL hElP' The issue is that the professional help won't help. Doctors in the Netherlands wouldn't even listen to a small issue, same with people with mental issues. The only thing that helps with a person with depression is that I can suggest that you try to find something you like to do, do what your heart tells you, this is how i keep distracting myself from horrible suicidal thoughts etc.

All I can say is that I'm here to listen to your story if you ever feeling down or anything like that. You're not alone. I'm a caring person, I will take care and try my best to give advice.

I'm just sick and tired of all the harassment and bullshit happening currently. I don't even have time to focus on improving my horrible mental health issues right now due to all the bullshit stacking up. I've been doing my best on SSRP and I find it unfair how some of the things went how they're currently going within the Staff Team. Some people are behaving like they've never been toxic or haven't been showing terrible attitude.

Last week I had a week off with work, which I planned on taking it calmly. However, I've been working a lot on SSRP to help it get the playerbase up.
I appreciate what the Head Admins, Community Managers and Owners have done recently for me. Thanks to Smol within helping with the events, otherwise I'd be facing a burnout if I had to do everything in my feeling on my own. I feel motivated still to do everything

Thanks to the people who have been supporting me a lot <3
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Last Edit: 2 years 6 months ago by xDutchCat.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359326

im sorry to hear that but I hope everything gets better for you
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359327

I think you should consider re-organizing your priorities. Health comes first, and if you aren't healthy, nothing else has any worth.
" I don't even have time to focus on improving my horrible mental health issues right now due to all the bullshit stacking up."
- make time for it. As much as it is harsh, this should be your top priority.

Hope you feel better soon, don't feel guilty, you don't owe anyone an apology considering your circumstances.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359328

:pray: :pray: Dm if you ever need a talk buddy
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359329

MsRevine wrote:
I think you should consider re-organizing your priorities. Health comes first, and if you aren't healthy, nothing else has any worth.
" I don't even have time to focus on improving my horrible mental health issues right now due to all the bullshit stacking up."
- make time for it. As much as it is harsh, this should be your top priority.

Hope you feel better soon, don't feel guilty, you don't owe anyone an apology considering your circumstances.

I do agree mental health is more important, the biggest issue currently is that whenever I'm recovering there is some bullshit within or outside this community happening. Thank you for your support. <3
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359331

Make time for yourself my guy, don't let zarp stop you from focussing on your mental health. Focussing on yourself and improving your mental state should be top priority not how many players are on some random gmod server. As someone who put staffing ahead of my mental health not so long ago, the advice I can give to you is to take some time away and really focus on improving your mental health. This probably won't be a short time fix and having to get constant hours on a gmod community on top of a job really doesn't leave you with much time for anything. Obviously if being SA in zarp makes you happy (for whatever reason) then continue doing it but just remember what is important in your life. 20 years' time you'll probably not even remember zarp so don't let it consume your life and lead you down a path that will be harder to get out of. Take a break and spend time with your friends.

As for someone that has been feeling burnout for god knows how long now, I know it's not an easy fix and you need to find the right kind of motivation in your life, and honestly, zarp probably ain't the right place for it with the number of shitposters and people who thrive of annoying others. It's hard to put a lot of this into words without going on random rants, so I'll just say my dms are open if you want to talk about anything.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359332

Dont get yourself exhausted man, fuck your staffing duties when you're not feeling okay. People aren't going to bash you for taking some time off.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359333

StephenS wrote:
Make time for yourself my guy, don't let zarp stop you from focussing on your mental health. Focussing on yourself and improving your mental state should be top priority not how many players are on some random gmod server. As someone who put staffing ahead of my mental health not so long ago, the advice I can give to you is to take some time away and really focus on improving your mental health. This probably won't be a short time fix and having to get constant hours on a gmod community on top of a job really doesn't leave you with much time for anything. Obviously if being SA in zarp makes you happy (for whatever reason) then continue doing it but just remember what is important in your life. 20 years' time you'll probably not even remember zarp so don't let it consume your life and lead you down a path that will be harder to get out of. Take a break and spend time with your friends.

As for someone that has been feeling burnout for god knows how long now, I know it's not an easy fix and you need to find the right kind of motivation in your life, and honestly, zarp probably ain't the right place for it with the number of shitposters and people who thrive of annoying others. It's hard to put a lot of this into words without going on random rants, so I'll just say my dms are open if you want to talk about anything.

Thank you, If I was burnt out or wasn't having fun on being SA then I'd already have resigned. Thanls for your support
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359334

xDutchCat wrote:
MsRevine wrote:
I think you should consider re-organizing your priorities. Health comes first, and if you aren't healthy, nothing else has any worth.
" I don't even have time to focus on improving my horrible mental health issues right now due to all the bullshit stacking up."
- make time for it. As much as it is harsh, this should be your top priority.

Hope you feel better soon, don't feel guilty, you don't owe anyone an apology considering your circumstances.

I do agree mental health is more important, the biggest issue currently is that whenever I'm recovering there is some bullshit within or outside this community happening. Thank you for your support. <3
There's a simple solution then pal, if you know what's making it worse and not helping, cut out of your life. Like revine said it may sound harsh but it's not worth it, get rid of the negativity until you're 100% recovered. Then consider reintroducing the things in life that were once negatively affecting you. You cannot allow a gaming community to push you to the point you consider suicidal thoughts
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359335

I'm always open to talk to anyone on discord if you need to let something like this out, man. Make sure to give yourself some time and do something you find actually enjoyable. As stated before I'm always willing to talk if you need Smol#0003.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359339

hi man i hope it gets better
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359340

im sorry to hear this man, you're always great to me and very friendly, i dont know how people see on you bad attitude, you are the best and dont let anyone tell you the opposite
if you ever feel alone or want to talk to someone, message me on discord nwDOSPIIR#2099
if you need something tell me i'll try as much as i can
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359343

Should you require any further support, I'm more than willing to listen. As you can tell from whenever I'm on and we spot one another.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359346

men I hope the dutch lad will be "good" now :)
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359351

DoSpiiR wrote:
im sorry to hear this man, you're always great to me and very friendly, i dont know how people see on you bad attitude, you are the best and dont let anyone tell you the opposite
if you ever feel alone or want to talk to someone, message me on discord nwDOSPIIR#2099
if you need something tell me i'll try as much as i can

I always feel alone lmao
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359352

Father Watson wrote:
Should you require any further support, I'm more than willing to listen. As you can tell from whenever I'm on and we spot one another.
Great Lad you are, always you've been there for me even like 4 / 5 years ago, Don't forget the otherway around. If you ever need my help I'm here to listen to you.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359393

xDutchCat wrote:

The only thing that helps with a person with depression is that I can suggest that you try to find something you like to do

That's pretty silly advice. Idk who told you that. Depressed people are ones that don't find joy because their lust for life is abysmal. Every once in a while they can feel happy, but after a while their happiness go down to way below average. Maybe normal people are on a scale 1-10 like 5-6 in terms of happiness. Some are higher, depressed people are lower. If you tell someone who's a 3 to maybe make a game, sure you might get him up to like a 6 for a few days, but then it'll go back to normal. Congrats bro, you prolonged this guy 3 days longer in life. Now where's the problem with this? The stress of making a game (People with higher degrees of neuroticism have lower stress tolerance) can easily get him down to a 1 which will make him feel so horrible and maybe you won't see him again. Sure, you got him to feel happier for a few days but you also increased the odds of his life ending severely, and the only thing it takes are a few pills too many and he'll be gone forever.

The only 2 things that can possibly help people that are chemically depressed is to convince them to find hope that the future is brighter -- In 10 years we could have a happy pill that will solve today's issues with mental health like it's the flu. Second thing that might help prolong things is that they're hurting their loved ones by leaving so soon (Hopefully they have some empathy at least). Hold out until that day & knowing that your life could be completely different.

However the likelihood of it being a more rudimentary-oriented depression is a lot higher due to society being sucky and is where your own piece of advice might be more impactful (People can end their lives due being like this obviously). Are you eating well (Eat absolutely 0 fast carbs & refined sugar), exercising at least 5 times a week, have good relationships, have something meaningful in life that you do, do you let down your pride in order to elevate others, do you tell the truth at all times, do you face your demons by taking responsibility or do you hide from them and distract yourself from reality on social media & games? Well if you're not doing these things then you should feel happy knowing that you can change your well being for the better!
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Last Edit: 2 years 6 months ago by catboy sven ツ.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359413

Aspect wrote:
xDutchCat wrote:

The only thing that helps with a person with depression is that I can suggest that you try to find something you like to do

That's pretty silly advice. Idk who told you that. Depressed people are ones that don't find joy because their lust for life is abysmal. Every once in a while they can feel happy, but after a while their happiness go down to way below average. Maybe normal people are on a scale 1-10 like 5-6 in terms of happiness. Some are higher, depressed people are lower. If you tell someone who's a 3 to maybe make a game, sure you might get him up to like a 6 for a few days, but then it'll go back to normal. Congrats bro, you prolonged this guy 3 days longer in life. Now where's the problem with this? The stress of making a game (People with higher degrees of neuroticism have lower stress tolerance) can easily get him down to a 1 which will make him feel so horrible and maybe you won't see him again. Sure, you got him to feel happier for a few days but you also increased the odds of his life ending severely, and the only thing it takes are a few pills too many and he'll be gone forever.

The only 2 things that can possibly help people that are chemically depressed is to convince them to find hope that the future is brighter -- In 10 years we could have a happy pill that will solve today's issues with mental health like it's the flu. Second thing that might help prolong things is that they're hurting their loved ones by leaving so soon (Hopefully they have some empathy at least). Hold out until that day & knowing that your life could be completely different.

However the likelihood of it being a more rudimentary-oriented depression is a lot higher due to society being sucky and is where your own piece of advice might be more impactful (People can end their lives due being like this obviously). Are you eating well (Eat absolutely 0 fast carbs & refined sugar), exercising at least 5 times a week, have good relationships, have something meaningful in life that you do, do you let down your pride in order to elevate others, do you tell the truth at all times, do you face your demons by taking responsibility or do you hide from them and distract yourself from reality on social media & games? Well if you're not doing these things then you should feel happy knowing that you can change your well being for the better!

The advice i gave is working for me eventhough i struggle alot with alot of shit
Also I'm not really saying "fuck professional help, the people really need that. Its the most important.
But how i feel better is to do stuff i liked to do.
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Last Edit: 2 years 6 months ago by xDutchCat.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359427

Sorry for you Dutch.
Remember if you need to have a talk with any of the staff team just DM us!
You're not the only one who lost really close friends.
I've only lost 1 but remember,

If you need to have a talk, I'm up anytime. Even if I have school.
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an update 2 years 6 months ago #1359430

Aspect wrote:
xDutchCat wrote:

The only thing that helps with a person with depression is that I can suggest that you try to find something you like to do

That's pretty silly advice. Idk who told you that. Depressed people are ones that don't find joy because their lust for life is abysmal. Every once in a while they can feel happy, but after a while their happiness go down to way below average. Maybe normal people are on a scale 1-10 like 5-6 in terms of happiness. Some are higher, depressed people are lower. If you tell someone who's a 3 to maybe make a game, sure you might get him up to like a 6 for a few days, but then it'll go back to normal. Congrats bro, you prolonged this guy 3 days longer in life. Now where's the problem with this? The stress of making a game (People with higher degrees of neuroticism have lower stress tolerance) can easily get him down to a 1 which will make him feel so horrible and maybe you won't see him again. Sure, you got him to feel happier for a few days but you also increased the odds of his life ending severely, and the only thing it takes are a few pills too many and he'll be gone forever.

The only 2 things that can possibly help people that are chemically depressed is to convince them to find hope that the future is brighter -- In 10 years we could have a happy pill that will solve today's issues with mental health like it's the flu. Second thing that might help prolong things is that they're hurting their loved ones by leaving so soon (Hopefully they have some empathy at least). Hold out until that day & knowing that your life could be completely different.

However the likelihood of it being a more rudimentary-oriented depression is a lot higher due to society being sucky and is where your own piece of advice might be more impactful (People can end their lives due being like this obviously). Are you eating well (Eat absolutely 0 fast carbs & refined sugar), exercising at least 5 times a week, have good relationships, have something meaningful in life that you do, do you let down your pride in order to elevate others, do you tell the truth at all times, do you face your demons by taking responsibility or do you hide from them and distract yourself from reality on social media & games? Well if you're not doing these things then you should feel happy knowing that you can change your well being for the better!
Aspect out here saying nothing but the truth
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