TOPIC: Apology to everyone

After 2 forum bans for unconstructive posting i've realised what i've done wrong and I feel shitty for wasting staffs time and I hope nobody has a negative opinion on me.

To break it down, I went a week without my medication and it really fucked with my head plus i've been doing a lot of oxycodone recently that stops my brain from processing what i'm doing wrong, I know this isn't an excuse to be a cunt at all and I am blaming it all on myself. I've also just came out of a very bad phase of depression that i've been secretly dealing with for around 3 months, I was in a very abusive relationship and basically used for sex, which some of you may think is fine but for me it's really not, especially when you've had your heart broken prior.

After being banned from SSRP, it really made me realise how good this community actually is, we're all a family whether we hate each other, but that's what a family is, you all have your differences and peoples ego can sometimes fog the fact that we really just need to spread love, sorry if I sound like a hippie but if there's no love then there's consequences, i'd especially like to apoligise to Martin, i've said some bad stuff about you but I actually have no idea who you are in person and that makes me feel like such an arsehole to judge somebody just because they banned me on SSRP (the ban was deserved though and if i'm being honest every situation i've had with him, he's always been very calm and collective and doesn't seem to hold any grudges) and for Dr Richard, we have had our ups and downs but I hope you can just take my forum picture as a light hearted joke, but I don't need to sort my hair out, I get a lot of compliments behind the bar but i'm going WAY off topic.

i'd like to take this moment to also try and clear up all of the beef and drama that I have with Pink Lemonade, I feel like when Jay House and Pink Lemonade get into arguments, it's always about very petty stuff that we shouldn't been arguing about at all, but I suppose that's the issue sometimes when people lose items in a game they spent a while obtaining.

Now on another subject, no matter how many of Pink Lemonade take the piss out of my appearance, my drug habits etc. i'm not going to retaliate, I feel like it's very immature as you have no idea how hard my life actually is, there's a reason that i'm hooked to benzos as a year ago I couldn't even leave the house without having a major panic attack, i'm trying to cut down on my habits though and just spread love and positivity to the server, i'm almost 19 for fuck sake and it's time I actually act my age.

Sorry if i'm getting a little off topic here but I feel like this post is very much needed just to clear the air of why i've been acting so strangely lately, I know some of you will think that i'm just saying this to try and get unbanned, I am going to appeal my unban but that's not the reason i'm making this post, I really just needed to get stuff off my chest.

To come to a conclusion, this is probably extremely strange coming from somebody like me but i'm not a tough guy at all, deep down i'm a very emotional guy which i've been trying to embrace and erase that horrible, toxic person that I used to be

If any of you are struggling with mental health issues or dramatic events, don't even feel hesitant to drop me a message or call me, you can add me on steam, I have been dealing iwth mental health issues and anybody here who is hurting, I really want to heal you and show you how to overcome anything that's overwhelming you

I like your profile pic

Richard Wright wrote:
I hope you take it as a joke as that's all it's meant to be, i'm not trying to offend you in any way

Tramaxan wrote:
Nah man, i truly find it hilarious, i don't mind it at all.

Hope you resolve all your issues

The real satan would never make these mistakes

Not even an apology for saying I should get cancer/aids

OT: This is a interesting post to read and honestly it’s fresh to see you own up to this and apologise for it; good on you man.

.uzi wrote:
I did? Sorry I sometimes get so high I blackout and forget everything, the only thing you should be getting is positive vibes my man!

Richard Wright wrote: suit cunt fuck fuck sick cunt fuck suit

Clarky wrote:
neck urself u stupid prick

Richard Wright wrote: That's just bang out.

MartinGaming wrote:
Man I got nothing but good stuff to say about you bro, the fact you just always keep your cool no mater how much of an arse me or other certain people can be you always remain calm and collective and spread so much positivity! I hope you get that Head Admin rank as we need more people like you, best of luck man and thank you for accepting my apology I really respect that!

Sorry to hear about your benzo problems it can be extremely difficult to knock off a benzo addiction but just remember you can 100% do it and once you get over the initial withdrawals and cravings it’s only gonna get easier!

I used to have a pretty strong cannabis addiction and the one thing my mum told me when she found out which really woke me up and helped me was “You may feel that you need it to calm down, relax, have fun, forget your problems or stop being sad but remember there was a time before you smoked weed and you were happy then so you can be just as happy now without it”.

I hope this can help you in some way and I’d also like to recommend starting regular meditation as it has been shown to help with addictions and depression.

Best of luck with your issues bro remember you aren’t alone.

Listen man, once i'm done building Gamersfunhouse mausoleum, i'll build TheRealSatan's mausoleum aswell, because you're a Zarp figure and TheRealSatan should always remains in our hearts.

Really brave of you to go into so much detail in a post and to openly admit your mistakes, I wish you the best of luck buddy, I can't relate to any of your drug problems however, if you ever need someone to just speak to I'm fine with you sending me a message on steam.

steamcommunity.com/id/narexa

All you guys are just fucking amazing, I appreciate and respect all of the wholesome comments!

If I ever need any of you guys I will hit you up but I should be okay for now, i'm cutting down on my drug use and focusing on healing myself

Clarky wrote: Hey come on now the man is making an apology, make up or make out which ever one you prefer (record the make out tho) but y’all are on some thin ice tho