pre i have changed scince the last time i know i was bad before but you can ask alot of admins like blast crack and the other ones that i havnt actually been breaking rules.

Considering our little meet up earlier today, you obviously have no idea what the difference is between OOC and IC. Also you don't know when to stop talking and let an admin talk. Instead you start yelling over them, making it 100x more difficult to hear what the admin was saying, over all of your screaming.
simply because you haven't changed in the least, you act on a whim. You don't stop to analyze a situation. If anyone has a different opinion then you, then they're wrong in your eyes. No you may not freekill as much as you used to, but being an admin isn't about seeing how long you can go without an RDM.
Edit: also, you just killed someone for going to a keypad after you told them not to as a police officer. When you could have easily arrested them. Think RP.