I appreciate the mention and i must say that your presence on the other servers was quite normal unlikely what is happening or rather what has happened on the SSRP server.
My input will be minimal but vital if used for your future endevours. I’ve read the majority of your post (or at least tried to), and what i take from it are constant loops and attempts to get to a point but never do. I’d suggest identifying the problems you dealt with and what you took from them that made you analyze and come to a remorseful but understanding set of thoughts first with short sentences and simple words in your head so you can project more confidence and clarity with better wording for your defence against this case.