TOPIC: Anger and You: A Short Guide

UPDATE: I'm bumping this because I've recently seen a lot of people very quick to jump into forum fights/flame wars over the most insignificant thing. Apologies for necroposting, but I feel this is still quite relevant.

Hi there,

Recently, I've seen a lot of threads pop up where people make some points, and others make other points - for the most part, it's great. People have fun, and a lot of it is light-hearted and friendly.

But there are quite a few examples of people struggling to contain themselves when faced with an issue they're not very happy with. So, I'm here to make this short guide on how to make sure that you can keep your calm, and keep cool. There are a few different ways to do this, so I'll just go through the list.

1) Think Before You Type

This is easier said than done. People think that typing is easier than talking because at least when you're typing, you're given an overview of what you say before you say it. The problem here is that people very rarely do that. This is a cardinal rule, meaning it's something you should really take into consideration if you want your posts to come across the way you intend them to. I know for some people, this means nothing as these people want to cause someone else annoyance or sadness with their remarks - I'm just saying take a step back for a second, think about what you're about to type, and ask yourself: "Is what I'm typing fair? Is what I'm typing a reasonable thing to say?". If you truly think you're going to get anywhere by insulting people and making them out to be horrible people because they said one negative thing about you - perhaps you should look at the second step...

2) Take a Minute to Breathe

Calm down. Yes, it's hard to think about what you type when you're angry that someone just made a comment you're not happy about. But believe me, you're only making the situation worse and alienating people when you decide that you should fight fire with fire. Flame wars don't help anything, they're really just a display of who's not willing to be the better person. Take a minute before you type a response to a comment you don't like. Take in a couple of deep breaths, think happy thoughts. Alternatively, clear your mind. This brings us to step three...

3) Find Something Nice To Say

Think about the positives of the person you're going to make a bad comment about. Think about what makes them a decent person and not a bad person, and maybe think about past scenarios where you've had a nice experience with this person. Does this person deserve what you're saying to them? Maybe in some sense, but should you be making an ass out of yourself by finding the worst possible things to say about them in response? There must be something positive you can think about in regards to the person. Unfortunately, there are scenarios where you can just not like a person, so that brings us to step 4.

4) Make a Neutral Comment

Did you ever think that instead of saying something bad, you could just say something like: "I don't agree, but I respect your opinion."? It's as simple as that. Again - easier said than done! Some people legitimately can't find something nice to say, and in some cases, it's just hard to think of something even neutral to say. But if you honestly can't think of anything nice to say, neutrality is your best bet, other than the fifth step.

5) DON'T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL

There's a certain mindset people get where they think that if they can at the very least bring their target down, they don't mind going down with them. It's the kamikaze approach, basically. This is how most people can justify acting like a total ass to someone on the internet because at least they're making that person feel a little worse about themselves. Alternatively, there are some people who just like to feel superior, and are so convinced of their superiority to the person they're arguing with that they don't think it should matter if they look horribly aggressive or immature.
My solution to this, and a time-tested mantra: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

Everyone will be the freakin' better for it.

Resources:

ASMR - a little odd, but it's a good relaxation resource if you're really feeling stressed.
Music - People listen to music to inspire, to relax, even to achieve something. Listening to music can be a great way to unwind.
Microsoft Word - Write a letter to yourself saying the exact things you want to say to the person you're angry at. Think about how it makes you feel.


This might not help anyone. I'm just doing it for the people who want to help themselves look better in terms of how they approach uncomfortable forum situations where they feel the need to react harshly.

nice guide man, some people will learn from this!

#FatherWatson4SA

The forums is a recess simulation and I'm the king.

@Studio So shall it be written, so shall it be done.

Man the best tip is that you need to realize that it's a game and you shouldn't be taking it so serious also the best tip is to not play when you are mad/tilted because that will make you more mad and you'll also play bad.

@Gody @Chromaa

@Flex People hold certain things in higher regard than others. Unfortunately, for some people, the online community will be the only friends they have for a period of time, which can often make it seem like the game is a vital part of their every day; to the point where they need to defend themselves against people who may or may not deserve it.

But you make a good point, this is a game - and keeping that in mind can be quite a help.

If anyone else would like to see this - bump!

Pin this please.

"1) Think Before You Type"

This is impossible for nearly all the internet myself included

Father Watson wrote:
I'm sent here by the chosen one

I will send this guide at the trainings so that new staff members don't insult users... staffing needs patience.

Thank you!

Johnler wrote:
Yea send it me xd

I don't get what everyone likes about ASMR to be honest

I took a minute to breathe once, it ended with me passing out.

You can also take it all out on a fidget spinner. Or a wall.

Coutinroy wrote:

HOKUTO SHINKEN

@Cout Yuuuup. Anger ain't healthy when it's bottled up, but it also isn't prudent to take it out on anyone. Sometimes it's about finding the right way to vent.

Instructions not clear, anger stuck in my breathe.

B-bump.