Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73937
Hi guys.
Lately I've been feeling really sad about some stuff, and I felt like I had to inform you guys with this. As some of you aware I've lost a girlfriend (not in a boyfriend and girlfriend situation) in the plane crash on July the 17th this year. Her name was Eline, she was one of my best mates I could ever have dreamed of. And on even more honestly, I had a crush on this awesome and lovely girl. It hurt me so hard back in the time that I didn't know what to do, but I managed to get over it in time. I honestly don't know what to do, my life is really bad at the moment, I'm having tears in my eyes at the moment by the fact I realize she isn't around anymore. The reason probably why this is coming all back up agian is because I met a girl who is just like her, sweet lovely, and awesome. It sounds perfect to meet a girl like this, but it's not, even tho I care alot about this girl. And the last thing I have gotten of her is a facebook message, saying: Going on holiday to Malaysia, see you guys in two weeks! And if you want, you can read it yourself. Ofcourse, I do have other last things, but this was the final thing I've ever heard/seen of her. The screenshot was made on the day the crash happend.
Warning: Spoiler![ Click to expand ][ Click to hide ]
The fact that this is hurting me so badly lately made me unsure if I should keep my Super-Admin position on Deathrun servers. The thing is that I always seem to be an happy person who has alot of fun, but lately I don't. I'm not sure if a sad guy like me should stay high ranked like this. I'm trying to stick up with everybody, but I seem to be failing since for example my gametime has dropped with 20/30 hours less a week. For now I will just stay on my position, but I think I won't manage to keep up I might end up resigning.
I really had to get this off my heart and I had to share it with you guys. I don't want to be an attention seeker or something like that, I just felt like I had to do it. Let me end this by sharing one song that reminds me off her. Someday we'll meet agian, Eline. For now, you're a star somewhere in the sky. Love you, Eline. <3
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73938
I felt so sorry when reading this, I've recently suffered from the loss of my dog. I just want to think of the future and what it will do for me. Good luck, I hope things get better for you.
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73940
I seriously got tears in my eye cause of reading this lost. Thats one of the worst things that can happen to you and your'e right i always see you as a fun player who is always happy but first time hearing this. From my opinion and i dont wanna be rude maybe take a short break or something from head admin that you can keep your mind a bit clearer. This maybe sound weird because you dont know me too well and maybe not even trust me but if you wanna talk its fine, i help multiple people with sad lifetime events. But i hope to see the happy guy you are and not the fake one.
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73961
I know how you feel, something like this happened to me when I was 8 or 9, since I live in England, all my cousins and grandmas ect are back in the place I came from, so: I was on holiday back there and we was coming back to England, then a few weeks later we get the message that my great-grandmother has died in hospital. That last time I saw & spoke was her was when I was saying "goodbye, stay strong."
Anyways, I feel sorry for your loss, I hope you can become a happy and cheerful person like you was back in the day when we played together.
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73968
Dude i really feel sorry for you, i know how it is to lose a close one. Just stay strong and we will fully understand your decision whatever it may be...
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73972
This must be a pain mate. I can imagine, even when I was reading it I had tear in my eye. Well, take as much time as you need. All I can do from here is just to wish you good luck, you need to stay strong man!
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73982
I know how it feels since I lost my grandfather 2 weeks ago , if you want to speak to anyone you can speak to me , I'm always online , and as ap4ch3 said , if you want you can take a week off of zarp
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #73991
I remember you talking about a girl dead in a plane crash and things happen. Just remember that this won't happen again as its the guilt that's causing you to type this. Its great that you found a new girl, but forget about the plane crash and imagine that she'll return safely.
Come on mate its the guilt. Don't resign , then it just be me of the amigos. You are like a friend to me, sure we had some rough patches along the road but we're still here eh?
If you need time to think, be my guest, I'm there for you. Sad to see this when I just woken up from bed.
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #74023
Okay...
Warning: Spoiler![ Click to expand ][ Click to hide ]
I don't know what to really say, I just hope you understand from the paragraph below that I'm really sorry for your loss.
Alright, I'll explain what I at first, while reading it and when I finished.
At first: Well, I just want to tell you that I didn't expect you any of this and was expecting to hear some bullshit about breaking a rule or an apology, or whatever staff are writing these days and I would have not started reading if my eyes didn't catch the words:"Plane Crash".
While Reading: I tried placing my self in your position and almost immediately tears started to fall from my eyes, I probably don't know how it feels and also don't know you, but I just want to let you know, that I'm trying myself to put myself in your shoes and understand how hard it must be for you.
After Reading: I was really upset after reading this which was somewhat 7 hours before this post, I was on my phone back then, but still wanted to reply and would have finished my post if my phone hadn't ran out of battery. You know like I said, I'm in no position to tell you that you should forget, cheer up or even NOT forget about the incident , so I'm just going to tell you this: She wouldn't want you to be like this and wouldn't want to forget about here either. Keep here in your mind, but don't let her stop you from living the rest of your life so that when it's time for you to see her, you can tell her all about it .
P.S. The song is really nice, been listening to it since I got home, your an amazing guy and you don't need a stranger to tell you this.
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #74047
Wow... I'm not gonna tell you I know how you feel but I do know how it feels losing someone special, one thing I'm sure of is that you're strong enough to get through this painful time. You've been a very friendly and nice guy ever since I first met you and you deserve the bright day that comes after this dark night. Uit het oog maar niet uit het hart, stay strong buddy, stay strong...
Something I need to get off my heart.
10 years 2 months ago #74066
I know how it feels to lose someone you really care about. And its probably the worst thing that can happen to us. Just know that you can always talk with me about anything if you feel like it. I am really sorry for your loss my friend.