Everything has a beginning, a purpose role and an ending. Since the beginning when I joined ZARP deathrun I've been mostly focusing on deathrun. The first time I've joined was with my best friend; we were searching for somewhat of a popular and most fair deathrun server because I kinda enjoyed that game-mode at the time and we stumbled upon ZARP (the deathrun server used to have a terrible title< advertising features just made that server like a genetic craving for attention server). I've had to like most others here build reputation and courage to become staff and help the server further with it's "development" and rule enforcement. The first time I've become a moderator was a thrilling while being an exhausting experience; being a new staff can be difficult especially when some is judging your every move, however in the end you get a bit used to it and in a way being a mod becomes second nature to you if you have been one for a while and sooner or later you begin improving in order to be promoted into higher rank, because after all the moderator rank is in a way like a test staff rank (having restricted access to severe punishments). The time when I was accepted into the admin rank was on the April fools day and I never even expected my application to be accepted and me being promoted because it was a joke; nobody was supposed to take it seriously and in reality I never wanted to write the actual application for a while. Being an admin for the first time and getting a bit more responsibility was a bit overwhelming, especially when everyone was hammering you just because you got accepted for not having a proper application. Being threatened, dealing with rule breaking assholes and hackers was somewhat of a common job and after a while was getting used to it. I've been admin for a long while before getting accepted into lead team; being promoted to super admin. I didn't expect the day would come when I would be promoted to a leadership rank where I would have to take care of staff; training them, helping them, being with them and even spying on them... but my position as super admin didn't last long and I was eventually demoted. I've been exhausted from work and was never able to concentrate due to chatting with others through other methods of communication and isn't able to complete the duties of staff.
Being staff isn't about showing that you are superior than regular users; having more power and or bragging. Being staff is about supporting the server or job that you enjoy and being a part of it, however is the right choice to follow rules blindly without questioning the logic behind them or should we decide by using common sense; making our own decisions rather than having someone making them for us? I believe a good staff is someone who follows rules, makes exceptions for when the punishment can be simply resolved through discussion, and logically questions and improves rules while trying to debate the usefulness and time consuming process of implementing new features.
Our life is precious using it wisely while making the right decisions is important, however everyone has been guilty of curiosity, being curious means that you want to explore; to embrace a change and in doing so can lead you to a terrible decisions where time of your life would be wasted. Curiosity can be a good thing as well because it makes us decide and make us feel more alive and trying out something new (like being a staff). Another factor that we should take into consideration is having fun, because without fun life would be meaningless with the feeling that everything is predetermined. Having fun gives us passion to do something whether it would be helping others, chatting, being competitive or even hurting others... I am not saying that I support violence or any other form of inflicting damage whether it would be mentally of physically, but people have the right to be who they are and do what they like doing as long as it doesn't hurt others (the bullying/discriminated target has the right to report the insulting player to the staff, however staff shouldn't intervene without questioning the targeted group or player). Mostly everyone has a dream to become something or to show something and whatever it might be; time and effort gives us these possibilities, so no matter what you do spending time wisely to some degree and doing something you have passion are the most important factors in achieving meaningful life.
I've been staff for a long time and during this time I've met a lot of new and interesting friends, people that didn't care or just wanted the world to burn as well as seeing the server and the community change throughout the time. I've been lazy, sad, angry and happy throughout my time as staff, but there are people that are quicker than me, more dedicated than me and more loyal than me... so it was about time that I would retired/resigned.
Thank you list:
Dexxy/Mika: You've always been there for me; chatting, playing with, helping out as staff (when I was a regular player)...and... in a way I owe you more than I can give... sooooo yeah I kinda feel like a slave now XD You will be the last person that I will ever forget for the amount of times you've supported me back when I started aswell as now. Thank you for everything you've done for me.
Angelina/Weiss Schnee/Cinder Fall: You've helped me out so many time in the past; chatting, gifts... many things that I won't ever forget and will keep all of it as a memory of you and were one of the people to support me into becoming a staff on Deathrun.
Thai Mingh/Yuuhi Katagiri: One of the greatest HAs back in the day and still is a great friend that I really enjoy chatting with.
BiWx: You've been here as staff for longer period of time than any other person and have been an owner for a long time, always putting a lot of effort into making the server a great place while being open minded and accepting reasonably good feedback from others.
Plankton: One of the first people to support me into becoming a staff and have always helped me in the time of need when I was a new staff.
Dibbes: You have always been a nice person talking to and playing with (even if you can be rough around the edges from time to time).
Jiggsaw: Enjoyable person talking to, interesting personality and supportive. Being to some degree competitive and enjoyable person to hang around with on deathrun.
Stratiic: You were the first owner hosting the meeting when I got accepted as staff and I've seen you doing a good job aswell as having your own way of dealing with people. I've actually learned a bit from looking at your back.
Santa: You've had a rough start; not gonna go into details, but you've improved and is helping the server better than ever before, I appreciate you dedication for the server as well as being a nice guy.
Error404: I have really enjoyed talking with you in the past; having a rather unusual level of cleverness that I've never excpected anyone to have at such low age.
Jabbas: A funny and supportive person trying to making the server being more enjoyable for everyone, I've enjoyed the time when I've been chatting with you.
Pug: Used to be a very competitive player back in the day; my rival. Trained me for the moderator rank with Nico Robin. Thanks for teaching me the basics.
Guerrier: The 33 guy XD, funny, intelectiually challenging and helpful friend.
Perry: Damn platupus >: ( you've been a nice guy, funny and someone I can play osu! with. : D
Wufex: Nice guy, opinioneted with somewhat interesting ideas
Katje: You've helped me out in the past, being funny and talking about sensitieve topics, yet you still say a bit unecessary stuff sometimes XD
NewdudeTK: Helped me out in the beginning and a nice person talking to while being open minded.
Captain Neptic: Best friend, was playing with me since the beginning
Other people that I've enjoyed chatting and playing with:
- Toto
- Cody
- Yoda
- Jordan
- Viking
- PurpleKoala
- YellowKoala
- TomFreaz
- Sonzy
- RandomdudeDK
- Naytrix
- Marco/Washing machine
- Mancio
- Jalu
- WolfieAD
- Sniping banana
- Twixx
- rroobbiinn
- GildeGothic
- Codeah
- Jim-Jam
- Joe-Sweeney
- SonicZero
- Nico Robin
- B4nQk0k
- YamiYagi/Spoderman
- King
- Polsee
- Bazaraxe
- HeyItsAlex
- Micky
- Annie
If your name is not on the list, then thats probably because I forgot or haven't had enjoyable time with you.
It was nice while it lasted but unfortunately I can't stay as staff anymore...
DarkRP 1 
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